How to be a good Host

I was reading Gala Darling's great post on how to the best houseguest and it got me to thinking about how to be a great host.

image from qoqillie via Flickr

This is actually something I think about a lot. Both sides of the equation actually, but I put more focus on the hosting aspect. My family has been involved in the high-end hospitality industry for my entire life including cruise lines, hotels, travel destinations, so I've traveled a fair amount. I've stayed in everything from 5 diamond hotels to cute bed & breakfasts and have seen great service and horrible horrible places. There are many places that stand out as perfect stays.

And they all had one thing in common... thoughtfulness.

I'm not talking about being waited on hand and foot, rather considerate touches throughout that made it clear that the person or company acting as the host had thought about my needs and how I would be living in the space while I was there.

These are the things I look for when I'm traveling and the things I try to provide for my guests:

1. Empty closet and drawer space

Hey, I know we all have a lot of stuff. Frankly, I think we have too much stuff. (Seriously, if you need a POD or a storage unit and you aren't in some kind a transition, you have too much crap... get rid of it.) At the very least you should be able to carve out a half a closet worth of space and a drawer so that when someone comes to stay they can at least hang up some of their clothes and put a few things away. This may be hard in extreme situations like studio apartments in New York City but generally try and find a little space somewhere. Even a hook over a door or closet door would help.

The same holds true for a bit of space in the bathroom, especially if you don't have 2 bathrooms - a shelf, an area on the counter - something, anything!

2. Decent sheets and pillows

I know we don't usually buy a brand new mattress when setting up a guest room. Yeah, it's usually the hand-me-down mattress from when we upgraded for ourself. But there are a few things we can do to make it seem nicer and be more comfy and plush. Get some crisp new sheets in the best thread-count you can afford and add a "feather" bed mattress topper. I like this option because it doesn't contain down or feathers so not only is it cruelty free but also hypo-allergenic.

Then have at least 2 pillows per person. I'd go new here. No one wants to sleep on your million year old squashed flat pillow. Bonus points if you have different options so people can choose which one they use. Also, have an extra blanket out or available. Your guest could get chilly in the middle of the night and have no way of knowing where to get a blanket. The poor things will be there suffering all night long because the don't want to wake you.

Another caveat - if your guest room mattress is over 20 years, please consider getting a new one. Heck, it's better to get a decent Aerobed than keeping this torture device! Plus, um... gross!

3. For the Bath

It's always nice to have a basket of new little soaps and bath gels, a shower cap and some of those things that everyone forgets, like toothbrushes, toothpaste and maybe a sewing kit. You can buy a few extras to have on hand or pick them up and save them as you travel.

I also like to have two indulgences for guests. The first are bath sheets. No skimpy towels in our house. We want to be wrapped up and covered. The second are robes. We keep two terry robes in the guest room closet, fresh, clean and ready for guests. Personally, I'd live in my robe if I could. I like to lounge around, get ready and then get dressed in my outfit. A robe is comforting and allows your guest to feel more secure when moving around your house or apartment.

4. Suitcase holder

I keep two suitcase holders tucked away until guests come. This is as much for me as it is for them. Not only can your guests get to their luggage easier but this makes sure they don't put their case, bound to be dirty from traveling, on my sheets, furniture, etc. These are easy to find in all kinds of colors, materials and price points, and they can be tucked away easily when not in use.

5. In the Bedroom

It's not just important to have a place for your guests to sleep. It's also nice to make sure the room is comfortable too. Don't have a lot of knicknacks or breakables around. It can be nerve wracking to have furniture covered with things that as a guest you are afraid to move, knock over or break. In this case, simpler and less decorated is better.

Have a table to use as a nightstand and add a small light for reading, an alarm clock and a water carafe with a glass. I also like to add in a small flashlight, a list of the cable channels (if there is a tv in the room), a pen and an alarm clock. Not everyone will use them but it's nice to know they are there.

If you have room for small table or writing desk and a chair, I'm sure your guests would appreciate it when they are putting on make-up, getting dressed and putting on their shoes. I also like to add in a mirror, either hanging on the wall near the door or above the desk. Or you can get one of those inexpensive mirrors that go on the back of the door so people can check themselves before they leave the room.

6. Extra touches

Last but not least, go the extra mile by adding some in-room snacks just in case they are starving. People can feel bad about bugging you between meals, so adding a few savory and sweet snacks can be a quick pick me up. I also like to add a travel candle and a lighter, some magazines and books as well. I also like to give the sheets a quick spritz with lavender linen spray before my guests arrive.

If you know your guests like flowers and don't have any allergies, go for a small vase or cup in an out of the way place. They don't need to be a big deal, even a single bloom is nice.

My best advice, however is the simplest... take the time to sleep where and how your guests will. Nothing makes it more apparent what works and what doesn't when you experience it for yourself. Does the sun hit your eyes at the crack of dawn? Is there weird lump right under your back? Is the light switch 2 inches out of reach? Live it and then fix it.

You don't need to have a fancy overly decorated room or spend a lot of money to outfit it. Simple but thoughtful goes a lot farther in creating a temporary haven for the people you care enough about to welcome into your home.



Extra reading:
Domino Magazine - Guest and Host Etiquette Guide

Come into my Parlor

When I was 17 I was lucky enough to go on a cruise to Europe for two weeks. One of the highlights of that trip was a visit to Ireland where we went to the Waterford factory in County Waterford (which is also the area my family hails from) and a visit to Dublin. We went to Trinity College, to visit a castle and then we had afternoon tea in a small cottage restaurant.

I was instantly smitten and can still remember how amazing everything tasted. Since then I have gone to tea in nearly every place I have visited around the world. I also became a collector of tea paraphernalia. Since I have a fondness for serving pieces, entertaining and Victorian silver this has become a bit of an obsession.

But it's great for hosting fun girly tea parties!

I used to have tea parties but I haven't had one in a long while. But my good friend Sonja has created a new networking initiative called The Ladies Tea and she inspired me to get back at it!

Seven ladies were invited to afternoon tea last Sunday and, in spite of some rainy weather, I think we had a lovely time.

For me it starts with choosing the guest list and an appropriately girly color scheme - easy enough given the overwhelming pink-ness of some of my tea stuff. I made my invitations and mailed them out a few weeks in advance, hoping everyone could make it. When I got all my RSVPs back (everyone, yeah!), I planned my menu.

The day before the party I was cleaning and baking and planning place settings. The menu was built off of a traditional tea menu but influenced by some of my favorite tea experiences at places like the Ritz and the Grand Floridian.

The Menu

Kir Royale

Earl Grey tea

Alfalfa-Mint tea

Sandwiches

Tomato Chive tartlets

Cucumber sandwiches

Tarragon Chicken Salad with Spinach

Curry Egg Salad

Buttermilk Scones

served with Irish butter, Lemon Curd, Strawberry Preserves, Devonshire Creme

Desserts

Lavender Sables

Canneles

Madelines

Chocolate Cupcakes with Rosewater Icing

Chocolate Dipped Strawberries

The egg salad and much of the baking used some of the eggs from my chickens, of course! We want everything to be decadent and delicious don't we???



Yum! Lavender sable dough in progress. A sable is a French shortbread cookie and a perennial favorite. If you haven't baked or cooked with lavender you are missing out. This cookie is so easy and gets better tasting the next day.



I am a huge stickler for using the best ingredients when I'm cooking. These tomatoes ended up tasting amazing. All we had to do was bake the tart shell and mince up a red and yellow tomato and then add the chives.



Here's my kitchen in the throes of preparations. It's not huge but it's very functional and has much more storage space than it looks. When we moved into our 110-year old house we did a good amount of cosmetic work to this room but it was worth it. We luv our kitchen.

And here's where the magic happens!



The day of the party we were up finishing baking and setting up the house and getting ready. The tea party was to be a 2 p.m. The hubby was amazingly helpful and made all of the sandwiches and the tarts. Plus he had helped by taking care of the dogs and cleaning up around the house too. Without him, I so could not have put this party on and have it go as well as it did. So big kudos to him!

Smooch!



As I mentioned, I love serving stuff, especially all the different pieces from the Victorian era where they had a serving piece for everything. I'm not exaggerating. I have baked potato forks and lettuce serving forks; forks for berries and lemons and spoons for jellys and pates. I'm just looking for reasons to use all this stuff.

So out come all the lovely silver tea strainers (loose tea only in my house!), the chargers and plates and the crystal stemware. And, all of my fun serving pieces for pastries and cupcakes.



We started with Kir Royales and then sat down to the first course.

Hello, cupcakes!



I have a large square black dining table that seats eight even without the added leaves. The place settings were made up of pink placemats and hot pink glass chargers. The plates were all mixed up with some vintage and some new. On top were little glass domes which I had the chocolate-dipped strawberries. Each person got a unique vintage tea cup.



First course - delectable finger sandwiches. No crusts allowed. I do have to say, those tartlets were delish.



The tea lasted about 3 hours and was a lot of fun. The ladies were from different ages and walks of life, but everyone seemed to have a good time and the conversation was lively and hilarious. It was so good to see so many of my friends together in one place.



At the end of the party, each lady got a favor. I made up boxes filled with goodies as a takeaway. I made these boxes and filled them with 2 madelines to remember the tea.



And since this was a varied group, I made fun name tags for each person to wear.



The favor boxes were take-out boxes in the same pink and black color scheme.



Each box held the set of madelines, a Chinese fan in pink, a Eiffel tower wine stopper and a heart soap from Gianna Rose.



Afterwards, it was time to clean up and put all the pretty tea cups and dishes away.






But, I'm already excited about the next tea party I can have and the opportunity to spend some time with my wonderful friends.

I want to also give a quick "hello" to my dear Miss Bridget who, I hope, is reading this. I missed you at this tea party. It would have been great to have you at this. I hope you can come visit soon and we'll plan a special party in your honor!

Much Luv!