We were watching the "Honey, We're Killing the Kids" show on TLC the other night. If you don't know the point of the show, they bring the parents in and show them how unhealthy and fat (and imply what friendless losers) their kids will be in 20 years through the magic of time-lapse imagery.
After seeing how the hideously tacky Crocs are everywhere, my free idea for the day is: TLC should do a show combining We're Killing the Kids with What Not To Wear. It could be an invaluable preventative tool. Parents think it starts out all innocent and cute. Like this:
But then, after years of foam clown-shoe conditioning, your poor children are going to end up like this:
or worse yet, like this:
There are shoe options for adults and children that are inexpensive, comfy, easy to slip on and even good around the water. And that don't have people worrying if it's safe to eat at your house because they are wondering if you have actually washed these stinky sweaty feet-boxes in your dishwasher (as the company site says you can). Eeeeewwww!
Here are some options. For kids, Minnetonka makes classic moccasins in all kinds of styles and colors including these cute driving mocs. I had a pair as a kid and I remember wearing them all the time.
For adults, Keds are great and easy to slip on and they can be washed (in a clothes washer like they should be). I used to take the laces out of my old pairs and slip them on to wear in the yard or in the water. Wellies, as mentioned before are another easy to slip on, cute and waterproof option.
If you want something to wear around boats and that you can get wet, check out these classic Sperry Topsiders in a really fun bright green. I saw a girl wearing a well broken-in pair of these in the airport with her jeans and she looked great. I had to run out and track a pair down for myself. They come in tans, browns and even pink, sky blue, silver and gold. My dad wore brown Sperrys all the time and I still think of them as a classic weekend shoe - for men or women.
Here are some quotes by people who own and wear Crocs:
"They make my feet sweaty." – spoken by a child
"Crocs are like wearing a pair of Shrek and Princess Fiona on your feet."
"They make everyone look like garden gnomes"
"I enjoyed my CROCS until yesterday morning when I twisted my ankle wearing them!"
And my favorite:
"I have hobbit feet....and like Crocs! Not hairy hobbit feet per se, but wide and short...and calloused because I'm a hillbilly and walk around barefoot at every opportunity… Now that I've discovered Crocs I am the happiest hillbilly in the world. Shoes that feel like I'm barefoot."
Folks, don't train your kids to be "sheeple".