Monday, August 27, 2007

They're nauseous. I'm nauseated.

I just received my Victoria's Secret Shoe & Accessories Fall 2007 catalog and I have to say I am shocked, appalled and sickened.

When did VS descend into a horrible swirling miasma of bad taste and whorish-ness?

I used to like Victoria's Secret. They used to put out CDs of classical music and had cute night clothes. They had pretty suits and shoes that had a "designer" look but at a price I could afford. Now it's over-priced and tacky as sin. I mean, they make Fredericks look classy. I know they don't make these shoes, but they picked them, forced a gorgeous girl to wear them and pretend she feels sexy in them, and then tried to brainwash us into thinking we would look hot in them too. That is just wrong.

Grab your Tums or Pepto-Bismol, it's going to be rough:

Naughty Monkey Embellished boot - $149

Is it just me or do these look like an insane mix of spats and gaucho boots. They are designed to cut you off perfectly at the worst part of your leg.

Bronx over the knee scrunch boots - $285! $285!!!! WTF?!?

If you get this catalog, they model is wearing them on the back cover. These boots look like a dirty oil rag crossed with a shower cap. The elastic at the top is wretched.

Block heel boots - $139

These are the stumpiest, clumpy shoes I have seen. They look as if they had to force them on you and then strap them to your feet so you can't take them off like you get strapped down for electro-shock therapy. The turned up toe shape looks are some form of deranged gnome shoes.

Mid-calf buckle platform boot - $99

I'm choosing to ignore the tacky "metal" platform on these boots. I don't even think my toes will turn up at that angle. How can you even walk that way?

Hale Bob Braided Sandal - $129 (on sale for $99)

Who is Hale Bob and why is he trying to make us wear some sort of pinata on our feet? I don't think even Charo would have worn these. Okay, maybe she would have but I'm not Charo... are you?

JLo Lace Up Booties - $115

Is JLo so insecure that she needs to drag us down by getting us to wear these hideous creations or is this something she actually thinks looks good and her bad taste is disguised by a very smart stylist. Why can't we get her stylist to design/approve something instead?

Rebel High-heeled sneaker - $49

Sneakers with heels are wrong. I don't care if you look like Posh Spice or if the Spice girls are coming back. No excuses!

Sam Edelman Strapped Booties - $170

These were not good looking even in the original Balenciaga version. Even the petite Miss Olsen can't make this look good. I'm sure plastic and fake suede will not improve the design of this shoe.

Sam Edelman Gladiator Platform Wedge - $109

Sam Edelman should be shot!

Sam Edelman Over the knee sweater boot - $220

I'm serious...shot! These go over the knee, have KNEE PADS (hmmm... why would we need those???) and are sweater-y at the top.

Victoria's Secret buyers - what the hell are you thinking?


Anonymous said...

OMG. The knee pad boots may not be the ugliest of the lot, but boy, you are right about the message they send. YIKES. I am very with you on this one.

Have you noticed that VS has been picking a lot of Louboutin-imposter shoes lately, as well?

Princess Poochie said...

Yes! And they are doing a poor job of it too! They look plastic-y tacky


Lisa said...

The all-black laceup booties are okay, but everything else is hideous.

Anonymous said...

yes, plastic-y tacky indeed. I admit to owning a pair of Oh Deer! Audrey shoes, but I got a wicked deal on them, and they're not plastic-y tacky. being a college student (albeit a very fashionable one) doesn't exactly lend itself to buying $600+ shoes. so...for now I'm saving up. :)

Princess Poochie said...

Every brand/store/designer can do well but sometimes they are very very bad.

I love getting a great deal and finding shoes at great prices. Target and DSW have given me the best luck.

Keep your eye out for those "Shoe Luck" opportunities!


Anonymous said...

Hi There thanks for this blog. My most are indeed a bit too *insert word*. Whats the brand/style of the 3rd shoe from the top? - Thanks

Princess Poochie said...

Anon -

I don't think they listed the maker of these shoes. They were available almost a year ago so I'm sure they are no longer available on the V-S site.

Sorry I can't be more help!

Lissy said...

I love over knee boots! It's just the thing that we all have different taste. Some fit in over knee boots, some dont. Som like over knee boots, some don't. I have just spotted some very nice black ones, with wedge heel (I think you say so?). Dosen't look porno at all. But watch out with those stiletto ones! Can be a real slut-stamp if you don't tone down your other clothes.

Anonymous said...

i think yall old ladies need 2 stop hatin on wat us girls wana do.Sneaker heels are da best.Old stuffs commin back so deal wit it.

Princess Poochie said...

Actually, I like some sneakers with higher heels -

just not THOSE sneaker heels!